Waiting...

Making the decision to adopt can be a very trying experience.  Especially if you're part of a couple and you're the part that really wants to and knows in your heart of hearts that adopting is what you are meant to do.  It's especially trying when you have a partner that isn't as convinced as you are and you have to find a way to gently let them know that you're deadly serious about it.

The entire adoption process from deciding to adopt to getting your child(ren) is one heck of a roller coaster.  It's like going from elation to total despair. 

I've briefly outlined the process for you before so I won't go through it again.  (If someone wants me to just leave me a comment and I will)  But suffice it to say that each step of the process has it's highs and lows. 

Now that the hubby and I are in the waiting stage, some approved and waiting families call it 'expecting', it's a daily roller coaster ride.  In the space of 24 hours you can be lifted so high because your adoption social worker calls or emails you about a non identifying profile of a child or sibling group, and then you find out that you're not the family that was chosen.  You are immediately plummeted so far down that it feels like being pushed out of a perfectly good airplane without a parachute!  Or the alternative is that you don't hear from your worker in what feels like forever and that just helps to keep you feeling low.

So how do we deal with these highs and lows?  Well each family has their own way of coping. 

In my family we remind each other daily that we know our children are coming, but it isn't up to us with the timing.  It's all a part of God's divine plan for us and we have to be patient and heed His call when it comes.

In our first waiting stage before son #1 came along, I had a standing joke that I was the worst mother in the world.  I didn't know where my child was, if he/she was OK, or even what he/she looked like!  It helped me to remember that everything happens all in HIS good time.

That's not to say that it makes it easier, it doesn't.  We have to find other ways not to dwell on the situation.  We focus on the kids we have now.  Our boys are our pride and joy.  Homeschooling helps me, because I have to be so focused on son #1 that I don't have time to think of anything else.  Having an exuberant 2 year old takes up any focus that isn't strictly on the 7 year old.

But what do people do who are first time adopters and don't have any children at home to focus on?  Well, some people I know get involved in community groups.  Some people volunteer at hospitals, old age homes, daycare centres or at the library for story telling.  The point is when you find yourself going crazy because you're not hearing anything or hearing about anyone that seems like a possible good match for you, you must find a way of distracting yourself.

This blog is helping me this time too.  I hope I'm not boring the pants of f of anyone who's reading it.
If there's a particular topic related to special needs, or adoption, or children or the whole process that you'd like me to share about then please feel free to leave me a comment and I'll get right on it for you. :)

For now it's time to get ready for bed.  My boys like to wake up early and tomorrow is a school day! :)