It's been a rough couple of days. I'm sick and I have 2 children who for some reason have decided that when I speak I sound like Charlie Brown's teacher. Wah wah wah wah. I swear that's all they hear. Ok so the 2 year is a cheeky imp and I don't actually expect him to do ANYTHING I ask, and the 7 year old is really 17 inside. So you know that he's NOT listening. These are trials and tribulations that are not unique to adoptive parents. They are universal. I just wish I knew how to circumnavigate these waters I find myself in!
The 7 year old is homeschooling. Term 1 is over on December 6th and we're behind. Now I wouldn't mind being behind if it was because he had some neurological issue that proved he just wasn't capable or had a diminished mental academic capacity, (I know there are certain folks out there right now shaking their finger at me and saying your child has FASD of course he HAS a neurological issue that causes diminished capabilities.) but he doesn't. Yes he has FASD, but academically he is off the charts smart! That's not just me being a proud Mama either, it's been proven. He can and does speak in complete logical sequences without issue. So why won't he do his schoolwork? He's shown me time and time again that the work is actually easy for him, so I know he's bored. I change things up to provide a challenge for him and he shuts down. He doesn't want to have to think of the answers. It's frustrating. For him and me.
Side note* Just in case you're sitting there thinking that I push my child too hard in things that he may not be capable of doing, let me reassure that I don't. The things I encourage him to do better at, he has shown in his way, and in his time that he can. Those things that he can't do, we/I give him positive reinforcement that he is doing his very best and that we/I am so proud of him.. All of my encouragement is just that, encouragement. I believe that a child will want to succeed when he is encouraged with tonnes of praise for his accomplishments and efforts. Consequences must be logical and understood by the child or you're accomplishing nothing but lowering their self esteem.
So it's been a rough couple of days getting my children to do anything constructive. The 2 year old is always happy, but always into mischief! He is in the terrible two's harder than I've seen any child go through. lol My 7 year old didn't have a terrible two stage so this is completely foreign to me! But as frustrating as it can be it's also a tonne of fun!
My 7/17 year old is going through his terrible two's now too. That's not uncommon from what I've heard. A child like my oldest came from such a strict routine that he didn't know how to cut loose and have fun when he was 2. It took us 6 months to convince him that his toys were to play with and not sit on a shelf and look nice. He used to get so upset with his Dad and I for taking his toys off the shelves and sit on his bedroom floor and play. He hated it. He would patiently take each toy from us and place it back on the shelf exactly where it had come from. So precisely that it had to be within a millimetre of where it had been! Eventually he came around to wanting to play with the toys. That was an extremely happy day for all of us!
My kids are my greatest joy, my greatest frustration, and my greatest sadness. Their rough start in life breaks my heart. Because of their start in life the frustrations arise because of what was done to them, but it is also because of their start in life that my greatest joy is seeing them overcome the odds that were handed to them!
So with the frustrations, I remind myself that within the next 30 seconds one of them or both of them, is going to do something to turn that frustration into sheer joy!
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