Support Pre Adoption

Today I thought I'd talk to you about support. 
Support in your journey through adoption is so important.  It's important to have a really good support network.

When we think about our support networks we automatically think of friends and family.  They're good.  They're great even, but what do they know about adoption?

Now don't get me wrong, we all need the love and support of our family and friends, but you'll find through out your journey that if these very important people in your life haven't walked this same journey, there is a lot of things they won't understand.  They'll think they do, but honestly they can't.

For those of you who know me, you know that I facilitate a support group for pre and post adoptive families.  This is a group I've been heading up for 4 years now.  I love my group.  Several times a year hubby and I get ready to go to our meeting and think maybe tonight no one will show up, then we get an impromptu date night!  You know that's never happened?!  That's because there's always someone who needs the group.  Anyway, I love my group.  The faces have changed every so often.  We've had people come who really needed our type of support and when their situation got better or resolved they stopped coming, but we never forget them.  We've had families come for one or two meetings and decide that our type of support isn't for them, and that's OK too.  My point is everyone needs support at one time or another.

Our support group is continually changing and growing.  I love that!  I love that even though I'm the facilitator, I get support when I need it too.  I'm hoping that eventually groups like mine will be kind of required when adopting. 

I believe that it's extremely important to have a good support system in place before you bring home your child(ren).  Not just family and friends, but new friends who are where you are or have been where you are.  People who truly get what you're going to go through when you bring home your child.  In my group right now we have families that are all going through the Ministry of Children and Families Development for their adoptions.

We're almost all at the same place right now.  Waiting!  We have some families who are just finished the AEP, and are now starting their homestudy phase.  Those of us who are approved and waiting have been where those families are.  We can help them through the roller coaster that is the homestudy.  We're a pretty tight group right now.  I can honestly say that I have made some very very good friends through this group.

So because we're all going through MCFD we all know that we're adopting special needs children.  Most likely.  Because my husband and I have adopted twice already (we're the only ones right now that have previously adopted) we're able to give some insight on the waiting and what types of children are usually available through the ministry. 

When you know you're open to adopting special needs there are certain things that someone who hasn't travelled this path just can't completely understand.  They can empathize but they don't really know what it's like and how it can be on a day to day basis.

Being in a group of people who have done and are doing what you're doing can be truly refreshing and relaxing.  You can spill your heartaches and your joys and know that someone in that room is going to say, "I hear ya!" and you know they do.

So if you're considering adoption contact the Adoptive Families Association of BC  and ask about support groups in your area.  You can also ask your adoption social worker.  Whether you're going through MCFD or one of BC's private licensed agencies, there is a support group for you.