Well it's December 31, 2010. The end of the year and one that I can say I'm looking forward to ending.
It's been a year of thoughtfulness, kindness, ups and downs, the emergence of temper tantrums, and realizations.
2010 brought me some realizations the biggest one being that I'm not alone. It also brought me a new friend who brought me this mind blowing realization. This new friend has children with the same diagnoses as mine. We have become very good friends and confidante's and we both know that we can turn to one another in our joys and our defeats and know that the other understands wholeheartedly. That's one thing I want to help other adoptive families (pre and post) understand. That you need others who KNOW what you're going through and understand all the joy and frustration that comes with adopting special needs children. YOU NEED PEOPLE WHO ARE WHERE YOU ARE AND WHO'VE BEEN WHERE YOU ARE! And YOU need to be there for those who are about to be where you've been. Support is a 2 way street, just like friendship and love. You need alot of friendship and love when you're adopting. You don't always get to be Mum and Dad right away. But that's a topic for another day.
This past year saw my husband and I making decisions for our oldest son that quite honestly we thought we'd never have to make. His 2009/2010 school year was really hard for him. So decisions had to be made. Some of his difficulties were due to his diagnoses and others were from outside influences. We made the decision to first, change his public school. When that didn't pan out we decided to home school him for the year. That has turned out to be a blessing and a curse. Home schooling a very strong willed, intelligent beyond his years 7 year old is very challenging and rewarding. Challenging because he doesn't like the new routine, and the repetitiveness of the school work and rewarding because he is so much further along in his work than he would have been if left in the public system. It makes me so proud to look at him and praise him for the work he's doing. It's not praise for just showing up either. I'm praising this child for actually doing his required work and getting it all right. It's rare for him to make a mistake. What really makes me happy though is that he is in grade 2 and his reading level and comprehension rivals that of a child in grade 5! He has had to explain some of his science projects to me because I didn't understand the instructions (and I'm no dummy either) but he did. LOL I think the problem is that I over think the instructions. I'm still struggling with wrapping my mind around the fact that work is for a child in grade 2.
This year with homeschooling I'm seeing the emergence of a very late blooming sense of humour. Now I know sarcasm is the lowest form of wit but I'm happy with any type of wit I see coming from this child. He had a question in a math text that asked him what the answer to an equation was and then asked him how he knew. His answer (written in the blank provided) "because I'm a smart boy!" He got quite angry with me when I burst out laughing, but I explained that that wasn't the answer they were looking for. That his answer was funny but why did he put that? He told me that if they couldn't figure out that he counted the blocks to get the answer then they didn't deserve to know the truth!
Like I said he's intelligent beyond his years.
So some of our days are like that and some are very difficult to even get him to start the day.
2010 saw the emergence of our youngests temper tantrums. This was completely foreign to us as our oldest never had a terrible 2 stage. No really he didn't. This youngest one doesn't seem to want to leave it! I'm hoping it magically disappears on his 3rd birthday! I know, I know it doesn't work that way. But I can hope can't I?
So with the closing of this year, I'll bid it a fond farewell at midnight and welcome 2011 with all it's challenges and rewards and hopefully the addition of our next children. 2011 is quickly shaping up to be a year of wonder and delight and any challenges that come along the way will be dealt with swiftly and surely so we can move on with all the positives. Here's to 2011 being the year of hope. I hope that all the children in BC who need their forever family get them. I hope that all waiting families find their children. Including us.
Happy New Year!!!!!!
Friday, December 31, 2010
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Christmas...
Our Christmas starts on December 24th. Every year my sister has an open house for family on December 24th. It's the one evening of the year that we KNOW ALL the family will be together. It was especially wonderful this year. My brother and his family have just relocated back to the island this past summer and were finally able to be at Christmas eve with the rest of the family.
What a wonderful evening. Mostly. My youngest (being the youngest of the 14 children in attendance) is in a full on crash. With all the excitement of the season and the preparations for our 2 day Christmas extravaganza, my little one had had enough! Because dinner doesn't start until at least 6 pm our littlest was ready for bed and very cranky. (His bedtime is 6pm. We can't keep him up longer no matter how hard we try.) So for 2 hours he ran around my sister's home screaming and getting into things he shouldn't be. Every time he tried to follow the older kids upstairs he had a minimum of 6 cousins jumping on him to keep him safe. All they really succeeded in doing was making sure he got hurt. Which just exacerbated his crash. So by 8pm we were saying our goodbyes and heading for home.
Despite his crash and our constant apologies, it dawned on me that I was having a wonderful time. I'm not terribly close to my brother and his wife but we had a nice evening. It was the first time my sister in law had met our children. Someone during the evening had made a comment about us adopting again. Something to the effect of lucky kids, silly parents. It was in reference to us openly wanting more children with special needs with our 2 and half year old going through this particular screaming and uncooperative phase. lol It was meant as a compliment and that's the way I took it.
After all the kids were given their Christmas eve gifts to open we made a hasty retreat. Little one HAD to get to bed and our oldest was tired and wired but readily went to bed so Santa could come. As tiring as it was it was a fantastic evening!
Christmas morning was a world of surprises. We actually had to wake our kids up at 9 am because they had slept through the night and didn't wake up with anticipation at the crack of dawn. I did! My mum called at 8:30am to see if the kids were up and waiting for her to come and I had to tell her that they weren't up yet and that we hoped to be ready for gift opening around 9:30. Nope. 10:30 we finally started opening the gifts. Little one was done after he opened his first stocking gift. It was a bag of real fruit gummies and he didn't care to open anything else. He had candy and that was enough! We finally coaxed him into opening all of his gifts and to our surprise and delight he climbed up on our love seat with his new V-Tech laptop complete with mouse and sat their quietly typing and mousing! It was the very first time he actually played with a toy and not just the packaging! We were so happy. He even sat at Christmas dinner with his laptop and ate. I was so pleased that I had convinced my husband that getting him his own little learning computer would save our laptops and that I was right!
You haven't seen funny until you've seen this precious little boy sitting with his little computer on his lap and the mouse on the cushion beside him, looking very serious and pretending to type and mouse! Precious memory for Mum and Dad.
Our oldest was very happy that he received a PSP. He didn't know what it was to begin with but once we explained it to him and he looked at all the games he got with it he was ecstatic. He spent all day playing (and getting frustrated because he's a perfectionist and the games wouldn't cooperate) and when he started getting the hang of his game he was so proud of himself and really started to enjoy the learning process of it all.
My children were very spoiled this year and not just by us, but by all of our family and friends.
My Christmas wish for next year? To have more children with glowing faces and huge smiles surrounding our tree. For them (and us) having the knowledge that we're a family now and forever. That's my wish.
As an aside, I did get the opportunity to remind my oldest that Christmas isn't about the gifts, that the gifts are just materialistic representations of the gifts Christ received when he was born, but that this day is about celebrating the birth of Jesus. It's also about being with family and loved ones and sharing in the joy of being together. My oldest got it and that made me happy.
Hope you've all had a wonderful Christmas.
What a wonderful evening. Mostly. My youngest (being the youngest of the 14 children in attendance) is in a full on crash. With all the excitement of the season and the preparations for our 2 day Christmas extravaganza, my little one had had enough! Because dinner doesn't start until at least 6 pm our littlest was ready for bed and very cranky. (His bedtime is 6pm. We can't keep him up longer no matter how hard we try.) So for 2 hours he ran around my sister's home screaming and getting into things he shouldn't be. Every time he tried to follow the older kids upstairs he had a minimum of 6 cousins jumping on him to keep him safe. All they really succeeded in doing was making sure he got hurt. Which just exacerbated his crash. So by 8pm we were saying our goodbyes and heading for home.
Despite his crash and our constant apologies, it dawned on me that I was having a wonderful time. I'm not terribly close to my brother and his wife but we had a nice evening. It was the first time my sister in law had met our children. Someone during the evening had made a comment about us adopting again. Something to the effect of lucky kids, silly parents. It was in reference to us openly wanting more children with special needs with our 2 and half year old going through this particular screaming and uncooperative phase. lol It was meant as a compliment and that's the way I took it.
After all the kids were given their Christmas eve gifts to open we made a hasty retreat. Little one HAD to get to bed and our oldest was tired and wired but readily went to bed so Santa could come. As tiring as it was it was a fantastic evening!
Christmas morning was a world of surprises. We actually had to wake our kids up at 9 am because they had slept through the night and didn't wake up with anticipation at the crack of dawn. I did! My mum called at 8:30am to see if the kids were up and waiting for her to come and I had to tell her that they weren't up yet and that we hoped to be ready for gift opening around 9:30. Nope. 10:30 we finally started opening the gifts. Little one was done after he opened his first stocking gift. It was a bag of real fruit gummies and he didn't care to open anything else. He had candy and that was enough! We finally coaxed him into opening all of his gifts and to our surprise and delight he climbed up on our love seat with his new V-Tech laptop complete with mouse and sat their quietly typing and mousing! It was the very first time he actually played with a toy and not just the packaging! We were so happy. He even sat at Christmas dinner with his laptop and ate. I was so pleased that I had convinced my husband that getting him his own little learning computer would save our laptops and that I was right!
You haven't seen funny until you've seen this precious little boy sitting with his little computer on his lap and the mouse on the cushion beside him, looking very serious and pretending to type and mouse! Precious memory for Mum and Dad.
Our oldest was very happy that he received a PSP. He didn't know what it was to begin with but once we explained it to him and he looked at all the games he got with it he was ecstatic. He spent all day playing (and getting frustrated because he's a perfectionist and the games wouldn't cooperate) and when he started getting the hang of his game he was so proud of himself and really started to enjoy the learning process of it all.
My children were very spoiled this year and not just by us, but by all of our family and friends.
My Christmas wish for next year? To have more children with glowing faces and huge smiles surrounding our tree. For them (and us) having the knowledge that we're a family now and forever. That's my wish.
As an aside, I did get the opportunity to remind my oldest that Christmas isn't about the gifts, that the gifts are just materialistic representations of the gifts Christ received when he was born, but that this day is about celebrating the birth of Jesus. It's also about being with family and loved ones and sharing in the joy of being together. My oldest got it and that made me happy.
Hope you've all had a wonderful Christmas.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Beautiful Day...
Today was a beautiful day! The sun shone, everyone I met was smiling and happy. Even ME!
Today was our local adoptive families Christmas party. We had 4 families come out (there were more expected but one didn't show up with no call, one cancelled yesterday due to illness, and another that was from quite some distance out of town so I think their RSVP might have been an oops.) and there was a wonderful Santa representative. This man agreed to come and stand in for the big guy himself and he didn't even know us. This gentleman works with my mum serving light lunch to seniors once a month. Mum doesn't know him very well either, but she asked him if he would like to be Santa for our group and he readily agreed! He even had his own beautiful Santa suit!
I was so impressed with Mr. Williams. His smile with our kids was so warm and genuine and our kids loved him!
Every parent brought a small wrapped gift for each of the kids and Santa handed them out while having his picture taken with each child. One of our older young men agreed to be Santa's helper and I thank Kadin so much. He did a wonderful job of helping.
So while we were few in number, we had an amazing time playing and sharing and enjoying each other's company.
I am so blessed to have the honour of serving this community and it's adoptive families. I'm very much looking forward to planning next year's parties already!
If you're considering adoption and would like more information please feel free to contact me about our support group meetings. We meet the third Monday of each month and we'd be happy to have you join us and we'll do our very best to answer any questions you might have.
Merry Christmas!
Today was our local adoptive families Christmas party. We had 4 families come out (there were more expected but one didn't show up with no call, one cancelled yesterday due to illness, and another that was from quite some distance out of town so I think their RSVP might have been an oops.) and there was a wonderful Santa representative. This man agreed to come and stand in for the big guy himself and he didn't even know us. This gentleman works with my mum serving light lunch to seniors once a month. Mum doesn't know him very well either, but she asked him if he would like to be Santa for our group and he readily agreed! He even had his own beautiful Santa suit!
I was so impressed with Mr. Williams. His smile with our kids was so warm and genuine and our kids loved him!
Every parent brought a small wrapped gift for each of the kids and Santa handed them out while having his picture taken with each child. One of our older young men agreed to be Santa's helper and I thank Kadin so much. He did a wonderful job of helping.
So while we were few in number, we had an amazing time playing and sharing and enjoying each other's company.
I am so blessed to have the honour of serving this community and it's adoptive families. I'm very much looking forward to planning next year's parties already!
If you're considering adoption and would like more information please feel free to contact me about our support group meetings. We meet the third Monday of each month and we'd be happy to have you join us and we'll do our very best to answer any questions you might have.
Merry Christmas!
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Adoption Christmas Party...
I don't really have anything of any interest to talk about today, but I did want to remind folks that it's Christmas time.
Sunday December 19th, 2010 at 2:00pm until 4:00pm we are having our 3rd Annual Christmas Party for our local adoptive families.
Everyone who's interested in adoption or those who are waiting to adopt or those who have adopted are welcome to attend.
We are having the party at Elim Tabernacle Church in the gym. I have it on good authority that we will be having a visit from a very special guest. It's also a potluck for snacks. We've asked parents to bring a small (under $10) wrapped and labelled gift for each of their children that will be given out by our surprise visitor.
Our party's are always fun and enlightening and although I've not been very good at organizing games and things, everyone seems to have a good time. Including me!
So if you'd like to come just let me know and we'll be happy to see you.
Merry Christmas!
Sunday December 19th, 2010 at 2:00pm until 4:00pm we are having our 3rd Annual Christmas Party for our local adoptive families.
Everyone who's interested in adoption or those who are waiting to adopt or those who have adopted are welcome to attend.
We are having the party at Elim Tabernacle Church in the gym. I have it on good authority that we will be having a visit from a very special guest. It's also a potluck for snacks. We've asked parents to bring a small (under $10) wrapped and labelled gift for each of their children that will be given out by our surprise visitor.
Our party's are always fun and enlightening and although I've not been very good at organizing games and things, everyone seems to have a good time. Including me!
So if you'd like to come just let me know and we'll be happy to see you.
Merry Christmas!
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
The Christmas Spirit...
I'm slowly getting into the Christmas spirit. Yesterday was Monday so you know I had a good day. Today wasn't as good, but still not horrible.
Last night my oldest son and my husband decorated our tree. I don't help much, because I've never been all that excited about decorating a tree. I like the finished product, but I don't want to do it. Sad isn't it? I'm much happier supervising and encouraging my 7 year old in his choice of placement of ornaments, and answering his questions about where they came from or how old each ornament is. I have a couple that are as old as I am and while they are very plain, they are beautiful in their simplicity. They're precious to me as I remember childhood Christmases with my parents. After our oldest went to bed I sent my hubby on a trip to Wal Mart for some large ornamental balls to hang from our ceiling. It was his idea and I'm all about the instant gratification. He described them and I wanted them NOW! LOL So off he went, and now my ceiling looks festive and beautiful.
Today brought me some extra spirit as a young man I know delivered 2 very beautiful Christmas candles with his Mum to me. This young man is 10 years old and is dedicated to helping others. This season alone he has helped the African Children's Choir and now he has also raised an additional $250 to stock a medical clinic in a foreign far away land. I asked his Mum today what her secret to raising such amazing children is and her answer was simple, "If there's one thing I do "well" as a parent (probably the only thing!) is I allow them to develop their own sense of being. I believe God has created everyone for a purpose. As a parent, I don't know that purpose and I don't try to coerce my children into a particular mold. I encourage them to become whomever God has designed them to be."
What a wonderful way to raise a child! I share the same belief and so far it seems that my children aren't cut from quite the same cloth as hers. :) My children are wonderful and my oldest attends church every Sunday but the lesson's aren't quite hitting home yet. But they will. I see glimpses of the lessons on occasion. Thank the Good Lord above that we're all judged on our knowledge and understanding.
So seeing that young man today brought a huge smile to my face and heart and then when I actually got to look at my candles I was over joyed! You can't buy this quality. The scent of cinnamon is filling my house and it's starting to look and smell like Christmas.
If you'd like to read more about Caleb look on my blog list and you can go to his blog. I'm sure he'll be guided to a new charity in the new year. I'll be first in line to buy his candles. By the way, this child keeps nothing for himself. Every penny he raises through recycling goes to buy the materials for the candles and every penny of the sales of the candles goes to his chosen cause.
I'm definitely starting to look forward to Christmas. This year we'll have an addition to our dinner table as well. My friend that I hadn't seen in almost 20 years has accepted our invitation to join us for the day. She's alone here in town and she's always been a part of our family anyway. I'm very excited to have the friend that I refer to as my cousin be with me and my family for the celebration of Jesus' birth.
I hope you all have caught the Christmas spirit and are looking forward to the holidays.
Merry Christmas!!!!!
Last night my oldest son and my husband decorated our tree. I don't help much, because I've never been all that excited about decorating a tree. I like the finished product, but I don't want to do it. Sad isn't it? I'm much happier supervising and encouraging my 7 year old in his choice of placement of ornaments, and answering his questions about where they came from or how old each ornament is. I have a couple that are as old as I am and while they are very plain, they are beautiful in their simplicity. They're precious to me as I remember childhood Christmases with my parents. After our oldest went to bed I sent my hubby on a trip to Wal Mart for some large ornamental balls to hang from our ceiling. It was his idea and I'm all about the instant gratification. He described them and I wanted them NOW! LOL So off he went, and now my ceiling looks festive and beautiful.
Today brought me some extra spirit as a young man I know delivered 2 very beautiful Christmas candles with his Mum to me. This young man is 10 years old and is dedicated to helping others. This season alone he has helped the African Children's Choir and now he has also raised an additional $250 to stock a medical clinic in a foreign far away land. I asked his Mum today what her secret to raising such amazing children is and her answer was simple, "If there's one thing I do "well" as a parent (probably the only thing!) is I allow them to develop their own sense of being. I believe God has created everyone for a purpose. As a parent, I don't know that purpose and I don't try to coerce my children into a particular mold. I encourage them to become whomever God has designed them to be."
What a wonderful way to raise a child! I share the same belief and so far it seems that my children aren't cut from quite the same cloth as hers. :) My children are wonderful and my oldest attends church every Sunday but the lesson's aren't quite hitting home yet. But they will. I see glimpses of the lessons on occasion. Thank the Good Lord above that we're all judged on our knowledge and understanding.
So seeing that young man today brought a huge smile to my face and heart and then when I actually got to look at my candles I was over joyed! You can't buy this quality. The scent of cinnamon is filling my house and it's starting to look and smell like Christmas.
If you'd like to read more about Caleb look on my blog list and you can go to his blog. I'm sure he'll be guided to a new charity in the new year. I'll be first in line to buy his candles. By the way, this child keeps nothing for himself. Every penny he raises through recycling goes to buy the materials for the candles and every penny of the sales of the candles goes to his chosen cause.
I'm definitely starting to look forward to Christmas. This year we'll have an addition to our dinner table as well. My friend that I hadn't seen in almost 20 years has accepted our invitation to join us for the day. She's alone here in town and she's always been a part of our family anyway. I'm very excited to have the friend that I refer to as my cousin be with me and my family for the celebration of Jesus' birth.
I hope you all have caught the Christmas spirit and are looking forward to the holidays.
Merry Christmas!!!!!
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Tripping down Memory Lane with Dad...
I was just reading a friend's blog and got inspired. Her post is about parenting dilemma's with no solution's. That got me to thinking about when I was 16 or 17 and my dad had to have the facts of life talk with me. No not the sex talk, the facts of life. You know the one we all get when we're 16 or 17 years old and have decided we can't live with our parents rules and we're moving out on our own.
Yeah that talk. Mine took place in the bathroom.
The bathroom was the only room in the little farm house that I couldn't escape from so he chased me in there and sat me down on the toilet and locked the door.
He then proceeded to tell me how much everything in the world cost especially toilet paper! Toilet paper was always very important in my father's facts of life speeches. My dad gave his speech (in various locations) to a lot of my friends, I'm discovering. Just the other day one of my friends whom I haven't seen in almost 20 years and I were reminiscing about my dad and the topic of this particular speech came up.
To this day every time she walks into the bathroom she thinks of my dad and his speech about toilet paper! LOL She always makes sure she has money for toilet paper! She loved my dad almost as much as I do.
I have lots of wonderful memories of my Dad. I have memories of him and I dancing around the living room singing Christmas songs in Norwegian. My dad was born and raised in Norway and although he didn't teach my brother and I how to speak Norwegian, he did teach us some songs. I think they stuck with me more than my brother but I don't know why. Maybe because I was the singer in the family and my brother was the techy kid and the karate kid. (My little brother had a natural talent/instinct for martial arts. To this day he is still extremely talented and I certainly wouldn't take him on! He had a wonderful instructor too. Sukhwinder Manhas. He still teaches today and I'm going to send my kids to him when they're old enough and ready. Martial arts is an excellent way to teach self control and self regulation especially with an instructor like Mr. Manhas.)
Other memories include things like going wood cutting with Dad. I was always more the tomboy and loved going to get firewood. We went with our youth group, or by ourselves and it was a family affair to split it and stack it. Those were simpler days. When the family spent time together and enjoyed eachother's company.
My dad was a wonderful, strong, loving - if not demonstrative- man. He was well respected in the community for his work with the less fortunate and his compassion for the downtrodden. He didn't give hand outs, but he did offer hand ups. I think I got some of that from him.
So what has all this got to do with adoption? Nothing. Just a trip down memory lane and if I can give my children half of the wonderful childhood memories my Dad gave me, then I'll have accomplished something good. I hope I'm doing that.
Yeah that talk. Mine took place in the bathroom.
The bathroom was the only room in the little farm house that I couldn't escape from so he chased me in there and sat me down on the toilet and locked the door.
He then proceeded to tell me how much everything in the world cost especially toilet paper! Toilet paper was always very important in my father's facts of life speeches. My dad gave his speech (in various locations) to a lot of my friends, I'm discovering. Just the other day one of my friends whom I haven't seen in almost 20 years and I were reminiscing about my dad and the topic of this particular speech came up.
To this day every time she walks into the bathroom she thinks of my dad and his speech about toilet paper! LOL She always makes sure she has money for toilet paper! She loved my dad almost as much as I do.
I have lots of wonderful memories of my Dad. I have memories of him and I dancing around the living room singing Christmas songs in Norwegian. My dad was born and raised in Norway and although he didn't teach my brother and I how to speak Norwegian, he did teach us some songs. I think they stuck with me more than my brother but I don't know why. Maybe because I was the singer in the family and my brother was the techy kid and the karate kid. (My little brother had a natural talent/instinct for martial arts. To this day he is still extremely talented and I certainly wouldn't take him on! He had a wonderful instructor too. Sukhwinder Manhas. He still teaches today and I'm going to send my kids to him when they're old enough and ready. Martial arts is an excellent way to teach self control and self regulation especially with an instructor like Mr. Manhas.)
Other memories include things like going wood cutting with Dad. I was always more the tomboy and loved going to get firewood. We went with our youth group, or by ourselves and it was a family affair to split it and stack it. Those were simpler days. When the family spent time together and enjoyed eachother's company.
My dad was a wonderful, strong, loving - if not demonstrative- man. He was well respected in the community for his work with the less fortunate and his compassion for the downtrodden. He didn't give hand outs, but he did offer hand ups. I think I got some of that from him.
So what has all this got to do with adoption? Nothing. Just a trip down memory lane and if I can give my children half of the wonderful childhood memories my Dad gave me, then I'll have accomplished something good. I hope I'm doing that.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Mondays...
Mondays. Most people dread them. Not me. I love Mondays. Why? Let me tell you.
Monday is the day of the week that my husband always has off from work. Monday is the beginning of a new week. A fresh start if you will.
Monday is the day that my oldest gives me his best work effort for school. Monday is the day that I know when I wake up I'm going to have a good day.
So I love Mondays. I have a friend who calls it Moan-day. I love that too. It's her little dig at having had a great weekend and she's actually looking forward to Monday. Kind of like an oxy-moron. I look forward to her face book statuses on Sunday and Monday because it always says Happy Almost Moan-day and Happy Moan-day all! I see her status and I know that all is right in my world, and no matter what kind of week is ending, it's about time for my fresh start.
So today is Monday and it was a good day! My family was all together. My oldest and his dad focused on his schoolwork and got everything that needed to be accomplished, accomplished. I got to spend 3 solid hours playing with our youngest. Now he's a ham.
Where my oldest at 7 is just developing a sense of humour, my 2 year old was born laughing. This little guy thinks everything in his universe is hilarious! He laughs at everything he sees, hears, touches, and smells. He runs around laughing. He sits on the floor with nothing around him, babbles something totally unintelligible and bursts out laughing! Did you know that there is no greater sound in the world than a child laughing? There isn't. Seriously!
After lunch and the little one's supposed nap, we went shopping. To all the people in Wal Mart between 4:30pm and 5:00pm this evening I apologize. My little one didn't have his nap and decided he was going to scream non stop at the top of his lungs! I'm sorry. I made hubby evacuate him as quickly as possible. But I'm sure some of your ear drums were damaged irrevocably anyway.
Anyway, we got 3 more people finished for Christmas and I even got some boots fit for snow if we should get some. Actually I was trying to find some boots that my friend had purchased at Wal Mart but I couldn't find them. But my oldest son says, "Mum? Are these ones something you'd like?" To my amazement he had indeed found some decent boots without suede, without zippers and that had very very good tread on them, and didn't cost a fortune! And the best part? They were black and PINK! Pink is one of my 3 favorite colours, so you know that if we ever get a girl she's going to have to be a girly girl and wear nothing but pink! Yeah I'll probably be one of THOSE mothers given half the chance. LOL
Anyway, it was right after finding the boots and going to find some peanut free chocolate for our sons advent calendar that the little one decided he'd had enough. So, we didn't get any chocolate, and me and oldest son went through the checkout while Daddy and little one left the building as quickly as possible.
Even with that little outburst, I had a great Monday. I love Mondays. :-)
Monday is the day of the week that my husband always has off from work. Monday is the beginning of a new week. A fresh start if you will.
Monday is the day that my oldest gives me his best work effort for school. Monday is the day that I know when I wake up I'm going to have a good day.
So I love Mondays. I have a friend who calls it Moan-day. I love that too. It's her little dig at having had a great weekend and she's actually looking forward to Monday. Kind of like an oxy-moron. I look forward to her face book statuses on Sunday and Monday because it always says Happy Almost Moan-day and Happy Moan-day all! I see her status and I know that all is right in my world, and no matter what kind of week is ending, it's about time for my fresh start.
So today is Monday and it was a good day! My family was all together. My oldest and his dad focused on his schoolwork and got everything that needed to be accomplished, accomplished. I got to spend 3 solid hours playing with our youngest. Now he's a ham.
Where my oldest at 7 is just developing a sense of humour, my 2 year old was born laughing. This little guy thinks everything in his universe is hilarious! He laughs at everything he sees, hears, touches, and smells. He runs around laughing. He sits on the floor with nothing around him, babbles something totally unintelligible and bursts out laughing! Did you know that there is no greater sound in the world than a child laughing? There isn't. Seriously!
After lunch and the little one's supposed nap, we went shopping. To all the people in Wal Mart between 4:30pm and 5:00pm this evening I apologize. My little one didn't have his nap and decided he was going to scream non stop at the top of his lungs! I'm sorry. I made hubby evacuate him as quickly as possible. But I'm sure some of your ear drums were damaged irrevocably anyway.
Anyway, we got 3 more people finished for Christmas and I even got some boots fit for snow if we should get some. Actually I was trying to find some boots that my friend had purchased at Wal Mart but I couldn't find them. But my oldest son says, "Mum? Are these ones something you'd like?" To my amazement he had indeed found some decent boots without suede, without zippers and that had very very good tread on them, and didn't cost a fortune! And the best part? They were black and PINK! Pink is one of my 3 favorite colours, so you know that if we ever get a girl she's going to have to be a girly girl and wear nothing but pink! Yeah I'll probably be one of THOSE mothers given half the chance. LOL
Anyway, it was right after finding the boots and going to find some peanut free chocolate for our sons advent calendar that the little one decided he'd had enough. So, we didn't get any chocolate, and me and oldest son went through the checkout while Daddy and little one left the building as quickly as possible.
Even with that little outburst, I had a great Monday. I love Mondays. :-)
Sunday, December 5, 2010
FASD, Parenting, Issues, and Love...
It's been a few days since I've written and thought maybe I should.
I haven't written because it's been a not so nice weekend. I've said before that certain parenting 'things' are not unique to adoption.
But some that are somewhat unique is how you deal with the issues.
My boys have FASD. My oldest is a very old 7 year old. He and I are so much alike that it causes us to come to logger heads, more often than not. This past few days have been difficult. You see my 7 year old isn't just a 7 year old. He's a young boy in a 7 year olds body but his mind is that of a 14 year old. His attitude and vocabulary are so advanced that sometimes you forget you're talking to a 7 year old.
This past few days we've been at each other. Over silly things and not so silly things. The silly things were stuff like cleaning up his bedroom, not stealing all his baby brothers toys, 'playing' with his brother in a way that comes across as mean and makes him cry, not eating the homemade chocolate chip cookies because the chocolate is the wrong shape (yes, again!), etc. The not so silly things? Schoolwork! Yes I realize that the new term starts tomorrow, but he did have a wee bit of math to catch up on and while I wasn't pushing hard to get that work done, I did ask him daily to do a sheet or two. So it wasn't what he wanted to do, so the fight was on.
One thing about my oldest is that he appears to prefer negative attention to positive attention. Now I know that sounds odd and it is, but it's how it appears. It may not be the case but... I try to compensate by giving extra positive attention and explain that I would much rather spend my time having fun with him and even during school hours we can make it fun, than spending my time giving him negative attention. He says he wants the positive attention but like I said it appears that it isn't the truth.
So today we had the blow out. He was crying, I was crying and it was a soul cleansing half hour. We have these every few months and we clear the air. I remind him that we need to work on being nice and kind and loving to one another and that when we feel angry or frustrated we have to talk to God (in case you didn't know we are a christian household and God is at the head of our home.) and ask Him to help us.
My sweet boy looked me straight in the eye and said, "Mum, we need to stop and talk to God." I hugged him to me and we talked to God.
My mum had been here for the better part of the blow out but had left (at my insistence) and didn't get to witness the love and compassion and prayer that happened between a Mum, a 7 (14) year old and God.
It was a beautiful moment and one that I'll cling to when things start to go pear shaped again in a few more weeks.
Parenting, it's not an easy road. Parenting the special needs child, extremely difficult but oh so rewarding!
Why did I share this? I was reading another adoptive mum's blog today and it was all about the myths and facts of adopting. It occurred to me that one of the myths is that you have to be perfect to adopt. WOW after the few days my son and I had, no one could call us perfect. The fact is the ministry and the private agencies aren't looking for perfect, they're looking for real. Real people who are capable of loving and fighting, living and giving, making mistakes and admitting them and apologizing for them. Real people who just want a family and will open their arms, their hearts and their minds to someone else who is looking for a forever family too.
So if this is one of the myths about adoption that's holding you back, let go.
I haven't written because it's been a not so nice weekend. I've said before that certain parenting 'things' are not unique to adoption.
But some that are somewhat unique is how you deal with the issues.
My boys have FASD. My oldest is a very old 7 year old. He and I are so much alike that it causes us to come to logger heads, more often than not. This past few days have been difficult. You see my 7 year old isn't just a 7 year old. He's a young boy in a 7 year olds body but his mind is that of a 14 year old. His attitude and vocabulary are so advanced that sometimes you forget you're talking to a 7 year old.
This past few days we've been at each other. Over silly things and not so silly things. The silly things were stuff like cleaning up his bedroom, not stealing all his baby brothers toys, 'playing' with his brother in a way that comes across as mean and makes him cry, not eating the homemade chocolate chip cookies because the chocolate is the wrong shape (yes, again!), etc. The not so silly things? Schoolwork! Yes I realize that the new term starts tomorrow, but he did have a wee bit of math to catch up on and while I wasn't pushing hard to get that work done, I did ask him daily to do a sheet or two. So it wasn't what he wanted to do, so the fight was on.
One thing about my oldest is that he appears to prefer negative attention to positive attention. Now I know that sounds odd and it is, but it's how it appears. It may not be the case but... I try to compensate by giving extra positive attention and explain that I would much rather spend my time having fun with him and even during school hours we can make it fun, than spending my time giving him negative attention. He says he wants the positive attention but like I said it appears that it isn't the truth.
So today we had the blow out. He was crying, I was crying and it was a soul cleansing half hour. We have these every few months and we clear the air. I remind him that we need to work on being nice and kind and loving to one another and that when we feel angry or frustrated we have to talk to God (in case you didn't know we are a christian household and God is at the head of our home.) and ask Him to help us.
My sweet boy looked me straight in the eye and said, "Mum, we need to stop and talk to God." I hugged him to me and we talked to God.
My mum had been here for the better part of the blow out but had left (at my insistence) and didn't get to witness the love and compassion and prayer that happened between a Mum, a 7 (14) year old and God.
It was a beautiful moment and one that I'll cling to when things start to go pear shaped again in a few more weeks.
Parenting, it's not an easy road. Parenting the special needs child, extremely difficult but oh so rewarding!
Why did I share this? I was reading another adoptive mum's blog today and it was all about the myths and facts of adopting. It occurred to me that one of the myths is that you have to be perfect to adopt. WOW after the few days my son and I had, no one could call us perfect. The fact is the ministry and the private agencies aren't looking for perfect, they're looking for real. Real people who are capable of loving and fighting, living and giving, making mistakes and admitting them and apologizing for them. Real people who just want a family and will open their arms, their hearts and their minds to someone else who is looking for a forever family too.
So if this is one of the myths about adoption that's holding you back, let go.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
One of Those Days....
I'm having one of those days. You know the one that one minute you're happy and the next minute you're sad and then a minute later you're frustrated or anxious? Yeah one of THOSE days!
It actually started last night. I was having intermittent chest pains. Now just over a year ago I had an acute angina attack. Scared the crap out of everybody, especially me. First the doctors said I had a heart attack, then it was a cardiac incident, then the doctor who did my angiogram said you're heart muscle looks fine but you've got some narrowing of 2 arteries that we'll take care of with medication.
So I got the crap scared out of me. I take my medication faithfully and watch my diet carefully. I exercise as much as my anemia and overweight body allow and then I push a little harder. There was no medical follow up and nothing to indicate what caused it. We decided it was unchecked and uncontrolled diabetes. I once again asserted myself and demanded an endocrinologist. My endo is fantastic! He helped me get my 11 years of uncontrolled diabetes under control in 2 weeks! I'm evening starting to lose weight again. But I'm off the beaten track. LOL I'll try to bring us back now.
So the minor chest pains last night turned out to be nothing more than bad dinner. Not bad as in rotten, but bad as in bad choices. I chose to have nachos. Dumb choice but it was treat night. So I had them. So my one of THOSE days started with my bad choice in last night's dinner.
I paid for it all night with indigestion and no sleep. I got up to 2 very cranky children. 2 very obstinate children. 2 very 'I'm going to do whatever I want and you can't make me do anything different' children. No I don't have 6 children...yet. LOL
It's just one of those days. Nothing is going right, no one is being co-operative, and I'm tired. I don't want to do school work, I don't want to change stinky diapers, I want to curl up in a nice hot bathtub with aroma candles, a good book, and a wonderful hot mug of peppermint tea. That's what I want to do. But...I'm a Mum. Calgon doesn't actually exist in my world. So it can't take me away. :(
Yes, it's one of those days. But I guess I wouldn't really have it any other way. If it were some other way it wouldn't be my life and these wouldn't be my boys.
I'll take it because after all, tomorrow is another one of THOSE days. ;)
It actually started last night. I was having intermittent chest pains. Now just over a year ago I had an acute angina attack. Scared the crap out of everybody, especially me. First the doctors said I had a heart attack, then it was a cardiac incident, then the doctor who did my angiogram said you're heart muscle looks fine but you've got some narrowing of 2 arteries that we'll take care of with medication.
So I got the crap scared out of me. I take my medication faithfully and watch my diet carefully. I exercise as much as my anemia and overweight body allow and then I push a little harder. There was no medical follow up and nothing to indicate what caused it. We decided it was unchecked and uncontrolled diabetes. I once again asserted myself and demanded an endocrinologist. My endo is fantastic! He helped me get my 11 years of uncontrolled diabetes under control in 2 weeks! I'm evening starting to lose weight again. But I'm off the beaten track. LOL I'll try to bring us back now.
So the minor chest pains last night turned out to be nothing more than bad dinner. Not bad as in rotten, but bad as in bad choices. I chose to have nachos. Dumb choice but it was treat night. So I had them. So my one of THOSE days started with my bad choice in last night's dinner.
I paid for it all night with indigestion and no sleep. I got up to 2 very cranky children. 2 very obstinate children. 2 very 'I'm going to do whatever I want and you can't make me do anything different' children. No I don't have 6 children...yet. LOL
It's just one of those days. Nothing is going right, no one is being co-operative, and I'm tired. I don't want to do school work, I don't want to change stinky diapers, I want to curl up in a nice hot bathtub with aroma candles, a good book, and a wonderful hot mug of peppermint tea. That's what I want to do. But...I'm a Mum. Calgon doesn't actually exist in my world. So it can't take me away. :(
Yes, it's one of those days. But I guess I wouldn't really have it any other way. If it were some other way it wouldn't be my life and these wouldn't be my boys.
I'll take it because after all, tomorrow is another one of THOSE days. ;)
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