Hello All! I know it's been a while since I've written and now I'll tell you why.
In case you were wondering, yes, I'm still alive! At least in the physical sense. I've been ill. Now being ill is horrible all by itself. But when you're a mum it's even worse. When you're a mum to 2 special needs children (and with each child after that it gets considerably worse I have to imagine) it's even worse than that! When you're single and sick you can wallow in the self pity and take care of yourself or whine enough to have someone else come take care of you, but when you're a mum you're just not allowed to be sick!
I'm a very lucky mum though. I have a wonderful mother who still thinks of me as her little girl and comes to care for my kids while I sleep or rest. I have a fantastic husband who looks after the kids so I can rest and get better. Together this team makes it easy for me to do what I need to do to get back to the business of mothering. With them here I can rest and push the fluids (peppermint tea is my fluid of choice) and cough and hack until the cows come home. I can hide in my bedroom, if I want to, and know that my kids are safe and well cared for.
But what do I do when my whole family goes down within 24 hours of me going down? Well...we muddle through. We've had offers of friends to come help, to bring groceries, to bring medicine but we've gratefully declined. We couldn't let anyone else catch what we've got.
Friday night I had my sick hubby take me to the emergency room with what I thought was a really bad flu (I even had the flu shot) and the beginning of an ear infection. Turns out it was a bad chest infection and an ear infection. Antibiotics for me.
So today is day 2 on the meds and I'm feeling...about the same. A little more clear headed as I stay away from the Tylenol 3's for the pain and just suck it up. But my hubby and my kids are down big time with fevers and chills, coughs and nausea. Time to step up the Mummy role.
No time to be sick when the family needs you. Thank heaven it seems my Mum is going to get away unscathed! I even kept her away today.
So as my time as a Mum marches on I'm learning more and more each day that this is the life I chose when I was 5 years old. I know for certain that I chose wisely. I remember my Nanny (grandmother) asking me when I was 5 what I wanted to be when I grew up. I told her I wanted to be a Mummy and a nurse. I wasn't wrong. When you're a Mummy you also have to be a nurse, and a doctor, and a chef, and a maid etc. etc.
Yes, I chose well. I love my life, I could live without the illnesses or at the very least without my family getting ill, I'll take it all just to keep those beautiful faces I love so much, just smiling.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Frustrated...
Here I am again, kind of lost as to what to write about. Lots of things have been going on but, some are too personal, some are too boring, some are just whining. So what do I tell you about today? Frustrations I guess.
I'm frustrated these days. Frustrated about a lot of things. We're playing the waiting game in our adoption and I've hit the discouragement stage. We met with our SW last Monday and we asked about a sibling group. This particular group is one we enquired about before Christmas but were told they were on a temporary hold due to new information. OK. So we asked about them again. Now it's Thursday and it's 4 days since our worker was supposed to have contacted their worker. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Nil. I HATE waiting! How am I dealing with it? I'm not. I'm wallowing in the frustration and discouragement. Not a good thing at all. I'm even too down to pretend I'm not. You know, fake it 'til you make it? I will be over it next week. It's the way I operate. I wallow and trudge through it and then get over it. Takes about a week.
My little one keeps coming over to me and giving me hugs and kisses and asking, "Mama 'k?" 2 year old-ese for are you OK Mama? LOL
I smile and tell him that I am now. His hugs and kisses have a healing property. In the moment I'm good. My oldest just keeps reminding me it's about God's timing. I think the problem is that this time I'm doing something I've never done before. Even before I saw this group's picture I KNEW what they looked like. I KNEW who they were. I saw it all so clearly in my mind. These children live nowhere near me, yet I knew them. Just from a couple of paragraphs on a web page. Even our worker stated that they looked familiar. They really resemble our boys. This time I've been picturing what our family would look like with them in it. What we would all do together, how we would all get along. I think that if their worker says no to us that I'm going to have to go through the grieving process. I'm not looking forward to that. But I am praying daily that God would grant my heart this desire.
I've never felt so strongly about children before. Our 2 boys didn't have profiles for us to look at yet the call came about them (one at a time of course) and I didn't need any information at all about them I just knew they were ours. It's like that with these kids. They already feel like ours. I'm hoping my hubby finds a way to pull me back down to earth so I don't fall too hard if the call comes that we can't adopt them.
So that's my biggest frustration these days. It's one that all adoptive parents know and understand. The waiting game is horrible. When you're in the application, AEP, home study processes, you have something to blame. You have more steps to complete before you're eligible to adopt. But once you've completed all your steps there's nothing left to blame. You're just waiting. You have to find ways to occupy your mind so that your focus is on something other than your phone not ringing! So I know that come next week, Monday to be precise, I will start a new week and have something else to focus on. Two sets of friends and their adoptions.
We have two sets of friends who are at different stages in the proposal process. One set meets their new children for the first time in the next 10 days or so, and the other set are making a final decision as to whether or not to move forward with their proposal for another child.
The first set is anxious and excited because they've been waiting since October to move forward and meet their new kids. These are first time adoptive parents and the whole process has been overwhelming and now it's finally happening for them. We're very excited for them! It's a good thing for me to focus on.
So, if you meet me on the street and I don't seem quite myself, now you know why.
Have a wonderful day and I'll keep you posted!
I'm frustrated these days. Frustrated about a lot of things. We're playing the waiting game in our adoption and I've hit the discouragement stage. We met with our SW last Monday and we asked about a sibling group. This particular group is one we enquired about before Christmas but were told they were on a temporary hold due to new information. OK. So we asked about them again. Now it's Thursday and it's 4 days since our worker was supposed to have contacted their worker. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Nil. I HATE waiting! How am I dealing with it? I'm not. I'm wallowing in the frustration and discouragement. Not a good thing at all. I'm even too down to pretend I'm not. You know, fake it 'til you make it? I will be over it next week. It's the way I operate. I wallow and trudge through it and then get over it. Takes about a week.
My little one keeps coming over to me and giving me hugs and kisses and asking, "Mama 'k?" 2 year old-ese for are you OK Mama? LOL
I smile and tell him that I am now. His hugs and kisses have a healing property. In the moment I'm good. My oldest just keeps reminding me it's about God's timing. I think the problem is that this time I'm doing something I've never done before. Even before I saw this group's picture I KNEW what they looked like. I KNEW who they were. I saw it all so clearly in my mind. These children live nowhere near me, yet I knew them. Just from a couple of paragraphs on a web page. Even our worker stated that they looked familiar. They really resemble our boys. This time I've been picturing what our family would look like with them in it. What we would all do together, how we would all get along. I think that if their worker says no to us that I'm going to have to go through the grieving process. I'm not looking forward to that. But I am praying daily that God would grant my heart this desire.
I've never felt so strongly about children before. Our 2 boys didn't have profiles for us to look at yet the call came about them (one at a time of course) and I didn't need any information at all about them I just knew they were ours. It's like that with these kids. They already feel like ours. I'm hoping my hubby finds a way to pull me back down to earth so I don't fall too hard if the call comes that we can't adopt them.
So that's my biggest frustration these days. It's one that all adoptive parents know and understand. The waiting game is horrible. When you're in the application, AEP, home study processes, you have something to blame. You have more steps to complete before you're eligible to adopt. But once you've completed all your steps there's nothing left to blame. You're just waiting. You have to find ways to occupy your mind so that your focus is on something other than your phone not ringing! So I know that come next week, Monday to be precise, I will start a new week and have something else to focus on. Two sets of friends and their adoptions.
We have two sets of friends who are at different stages in the proposal process. One set meets their new children for the first time in the next 10 days or so, and the other set are making a final decision as to whether or not to move forward with their proposal for another child.
The first set is anxious and excited because they've been waiting since October to move forward and meet their new kids. These are first time adoptive parents and the whole process has been overwhelming and now it's finally happening for them. We're very excited for them! It's a good thing for me to focus on.
So, if you meet me on the street and I don't seem quite myself, now you know why.
Have a wonderful day and I'll keep you posted!
Monday, January 17, 2011
Insomnia...
Hi. Here I sit at 1:00 am wondering why I'm sitting here at this hour. I have insomnia...again. This happens on occasion and I hope it's just tonight. Usually it's 2 or 3 nights, but I've been known to go on this way for a couple of weeks at a time. Normally it doesn't bother me too much, but tomorrow (or rather today) is going to be a very busy day.
Today we are meeting with our SW first thing in the morning to go through the bulletin. We're so anxious to find our next sibling group. I'm sure this is a big part of why I'm not sleeping. I have my eye on a group of children whose profile sounds wonderful and their issues don't sound all that frightening. That could be because they don't appear to have much of a chance of having FASD and that would be somewhat of a relief, or that their ages are perfect to meld in with our family. I don't know for sure but the very first time I read their profiles I was taken by them.
After our meeting we have a whole day of homeschooling to get through. Our oldest isn't feeling well and he's had 2 days off. Not a good combo for a kid who's already fighting getting back into the routine. But Daddy is teaching today so I'll at least get a break from that struggle. Then there's the little one. I'm happy to have the day to play with him, but being that I'm up now I'm hoping that my wonderful husband is going to go to Starbucks after our morning meeting and just get me an IV. I'm going to need it to keep my energy level up in a range that my 2 and half year old will find acceptable. He gets rather grumpy when Mama doesn't play exactly how he wants me! Yes my child is spoiled and I'm OK with that.
Then this evening we have our first support group meeting of the year! I'm extremely excited about this too! There are developments I can't wait to hear about and hopefully we'll have one of our own to share. Again at this point in the day I KNOW my wonderful husband will be heading for Starbucks in order to get me that IV.
There is so much to look forward to today that it's obviously just keeping me awake.
See? This is why I love Mondays. There's always something exciting happening on the first day of the week. It's that guaranteed fresh start.
I don't mind the insomnia when there's a good reason for it!
Today we are meeting with our SW first thing in the morning to go through the bulletin. We're so anxious to find our next sibling group. I'm sure this is a big part of why I'm not sleeping. I have my eye on a group of children whose profile sounds wonderful and their issues don't sound all that frightening. That could be because they don't appear to have much of a chance of having FASD and that would be somewhat of a relief, or that their ages are perfect to meld in with our family. I don't know for sure but the very first time I read their profiles I was taken by them.
After our meeting we have a whole day of homeschooling to get through. Our oldest isn't feeling well and he's had 2 days off. Not a good combo for a kid who's already fighting getting back into the routine. But Daddy is teaching today so I'll at least get a break from that struggle. Then there's the little one. I'm happy to have the day to play with him, but being that I'm up now I'm hoping that my wonderful husband is going to go to Starbucks after our morning meeting and just get me an IV. I'm going to need it to keep my energy level up in a range that my 2 and half year old will find acceptable. He gets rather grumpy when Mama doesn't play exactly how he wants me! Yes my child is spoiled and I'm OK with that.
Then this evening we have our first support group meeting of the year! I'm extremely excited about this too! There are developments I can't wait to hear about and hopefully we'll have one of our own to share. Again at this point in the day I KNOW my wonderful husband will be heading for Starbucks in order to get me that IV.
There is so much to look forward to today that it's obviously just keeping me awake.
See? This is why I love Mondays. There's always something exciting happening on the first day of the week. It's that guaranteed fresh start.
I don't mind the insomnia when there's a good reason for it!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Happy New Year!...
To all our friends and family! We sincerely hope that 2011 is the year that sees all of your trials and tribulations end. We hope that whatever your wish for the year is granted. We hope that everyone who is waiting for their new children meet them soon and bring them home! After all that's all a child really wants. A family to call their own and to know that there are people in this world who will be there for them forever!
So far the new year is starting out good and not so good. The good part is that we are all happy and healthy. The not so good part is our very expensive boiler system (furnace) went kaput and there isn't anybody around here who knows how to fix it! The other not so good part is that our oldest is having a very hard time getting back into the routine of homeschooling. Which is also trying my patience terribly. ( A wise woman once told me that I should never pray for patience because God will just give me more ways to practice it. LOL She was right!) I've also had to cancel a very important appointment with a specialist 3 times now because I got sick and the uncertainty of the weather.
So, with that stuff out of the way (for blogging) I'll move on to good stuff.
In less than a week we are meeting with our SW to go through the bulletin and hopefully find some children that we may be able to adopt. We're so ready. Our oldest asks almost daily when we're going to bring home another brother and a couple of sisters for him and his little brother. It's so hard to keep telling him that we don't know and that we just have to trust that God will bring them to us when it's the right time. Our son is awesome! He just tells me, 'that's right Mum. When God decides it's time, then it's time and we'll just go get them!'
I'm really happy too that in less than a week we start our regular adoption support group meetings again for the year. I miss our group through winter break. Even though I saw most of them at our Christmas party. That was a fun time. Watching all of our kids playing together and the grown ups playing like children. What a sight to behold!
Even with the financial strain we're feeling right now (yes that comes under the not so good category) I wish there was time for hubby and I to go out for our date night. We have the sweetest little babysitter that comes in when we're just doing a date night. She's 13 and so very awesome with our boys. She just adores them. It's also wonderful that when she's here both boys are so tuckered out from playing with her that they sleep soundly through the night and sleep in the next day! Have I mentioned that I absolutely love our Jenny?! (Jenny if you're reading this tell your Mum and Dad that I think they're awesome parents for having raised such a wonderful daughter!)
Soon we'll have you over again and then everyone will be happy!
Monday is usually my favorite day of the week. I've mentioned that before in a previous post. But yesterday was NOT my favorite day. My oldest decided that he was not letting go of last week and carried it over to yesterday. Today has been better but tomorrow will be better still. On Sunday my youngest decided that instead of taking his nap he would redecorate his room! His choice of artistic material? You got it! Rather, he got it...EVERYWHERE! On the walls, on the heat register, all over his dresser, his door, carpeting covered, bed, bedding, stuffies, toys...you name it he painted it! What a joy that was! It took 3 adults to get his room back in order. But it's done now and we move forward. Nothing left to do but laugh it off! Oh he was a very proud artist!
So there you have my first week and a bit of the new year. Hope yours is going better!
Remember, when life hands you lemons, just say pass the salt and the tequila! (OK OK anyone who knows me knows I don't drink, so go ahead and set up a lemon-aid stand instead. ;))
So far the new year is starting out good and not so good. The good part is that we are all happy and healthy. The not so good part is our very expensive boiler system (furnace) went kaput and there isn't anybody around here who knows how to fix it! The other not so good part is that our oldest is having a very hard time getting back into the routine of homeschooling. Which is also trying my patience terribly. ( A wise woman once told me that I should never pray for patience because God will just give me more ways to practice it. LOL She was right!) I've also had to cancel a very important appointment with a specialist 3 times now because I got sick and the uncertainty of the weather.
So, with that stuff out of the way (for blogging) I'll move on to good stuff.
In less than a week we are meeting with our SW to go through the bulletin and hopefully find some children that we may be able to adopt. We're so ready. Our oldest asks almost daily when we're going to bring home another brother and a couple of sisters for him and his little brother. It's so hard to keep telling him that we don't know and that we just have to trust that God will bring them to us when it's the right time. Our son is awesome! He just tells me, 'that's right Mum. When God decides it's time, then it's time and we'll just go get them!'
I'm really happy too that in less than a week we start our regular adoption support group meetings again for the year. I miss our group through winter break. Even though I saw most of them at our Christmas party. That was a fun time. Watching all of our kids playing together and the grown ups playing like children. What a sight to behold!
Even with the financial strain we're feeling right now (yes that comes under the not so good category) I wish there was time for hubby and I to go out for our date night. We have the sweetest little babysitter that comes in when we're just doing a date night. She's 13 and so very awesome with our boys. She just adores them. It's also wonderful that when she's here both boys are so tuckered out from playing with her that they sleep soundly through the night and sleep in the next day! Have I mentioned that I absolutely love our Jenny?! (Jenny if you're reading this tell your Mum and Dad that I think they're awesome parents for having raised such a wonderful daughter!)
Soon we'll have you over again and then everyone will be happy!
Monday is usually my favorite day of the week. I've mentioned that before in a previous post. But yesterday was NOT my favorite day. My oldest decided that he was not letting go of last week and carried it over to yesterday. Today has been better but tomorrow will be better still. On Sunday my youngest decided that instead of taking his nap he would redecorate his room! His choice of artistic material? You got it! Rather, he got it...EVERYWHERE! On the walls, on the heat register, all over his dresser, his door, carpeting covered, bed, bedding, stuffies, toys...you name it he painted it! What a joy that was! It took 3 adults to get his room back in order. But it's done now and we move forward. Nothing left to do but laugh it off! Oh he was a very proud artist!
So there you have my first week and a bit of the new year. Hope yours is going better!
Remember, when life hands you lemons, just say pass the salt and the tequila! (OK OK anyone who knows me knows I don't drink, so go ahead and set up a lemon-aid stand instead. ;))
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)