A Friend Asked...

How am I doing?  Well, physically I'm doing great!  Emotionally, I'm OK.  I'd like to say great but that wouldn't be the truth.  So why am I just OK?  Let me tell you.

We're still waiting.  In case you're new here, we're waiting for an adoption placement.
Now, this isn't our first time on the roller coaster it's our 3rd.  The waiting at any stage of adoption is hard.  But it seems to be particularly difficult in the final stage.  The stage after the application is accepted, the home study is done and approved and all you have left is the wait for the match.  The wait for the phone call that has your ASW on the other end  of the line saying, "I've found your child!"  This is the hardest part.

Today is particularly hard. Mostly because I got that call.  Well sort of.  Our ASW called but it wasn't to say she found our children.  It was to say that we'd been turned down for another sibling group.  I guess this one was harder because it wasn't that the children had been placed just that their worker felt we weren't the right match.  See when we get the call that says, "Sorry you weren't chosen, because the children have been placed." That is bittersweet.  I get happy because children I was aware of and hoped to bring home, got a forever family.  That makes me happy.  But I get sad too because the children I hoped to bring home aren't coming. So we're back to waiting. 

It's been 3 long years since the beginning. Just over 2 years since we've been waiting to be matched.  We had a few months when we were on 'unofficial hold' while we had our home study updated, and got to know our new worker.  This ride on the roller coaster just seems longer and more up and down.

So, this weekend we're off to another matching event.  I'm hoping we finally find our child or children at this one.

We are a very strong christian family and we believe that our children will come when God says it's time, we're just wishing his clock worked more like ours.  *Sigh* In His time. That's what keeps us going; that and the great support network we have.  When you have a fantastic support network like ours, you just don't get stressed out all that much.

What keeps you going?

Not Adoption Related...

Is today's topic.  I just watched a news report on a young lady who just committed suicide because of bullying.  The headline was "...now questions are being asked..." basically now that she's gone how can we stop bullying.  Why is it ALWAYS AFTER someones child has taken their life?  Why are we not working daily to teach our children to accept everyone and all life circumstances?  Why are we only concerned for a day or two AFTER we hear about someones child killing themselves?  What's wrong with TODAY?

I have a vague spark of an idea but I'm not sure how to fan the flame into a full blown firestorm of action.

See my spark is that we, the parents, or adults in general, have to show up at all the schools in our towns everyday and stop the bullying.  Things only get worse when it's just one child's parent(s) going to the school or the bully's family and trying to effect change.  That bullied child gets bullied worse.  I know, it was me, many moons ago.  But things around this issue haven't changed much.  They've gotten worse.  

We have anti-bully day and then it's over.  We all wear pink for a day.  But what does it really do?  Nothing.  It does absolutely NOTHING!  My child was bullied on anti-bully day 3 years ago.  The bully was wearing pink, but it didn't stop him.  The school staff did, thankfully.  But that bully never truly got punished.

Back to my spark.  How many people would volunteer to show up everyday at a community school until each and every school can state that there is NO BULLYING happening at their school?  Inconvenient?  You betcha, but isn't it better than sitting at a memorial for yet another child?  Isn't it better to figure out who the bully's are and start helping them with their issues on a daily basis?  Figure out who the victim's are and work with them so that the bully's don't have an opening?

I need help to figure this one out.  I, for one, do not want to go to another funeral or memorial service, or celebration of life for one more single young person.  

HELP ME!!!

P.S.  I know there will be someone sitting at their desk thinking that bullying doesn't only happen to young people in school.  That's true, but if we can eradicate it from the schools, we have a higher chance of eradicating it from workplaces too. It's a vicious circle.  Let's break the cycle.