And Another Thing...

Here's another gripe. 

When our youngest was entering kindergarten our school had an orientation day. Great idea!
However, it turned sour for us...temporarily.

Everything was going great. Our youngest was having a great time going from the gym to a classroom and then to his future classroom to meet his new teacher. Where it turned sour for us and our son was when the teacher who was taking us around (we weren't the only family either, it was an orientation for all new kindergarten students) introduced us to his new teacher. She should have said this is (insert child's name here) and his parents. What she said was this is (our son) and his ADOPTIVE parents. Why? What purpose does that serve? What if we were like some people, who back in the old days (man do I sound old. lol) didn't tell their children they were adopted? Now, with this person deciding that this was information that needed to be shared with not only the teacher but all the other kids and their families too, this person with the addition of one word, could have caused irreparable damage.  I guess you could say that we were slightly annoyed and did speak to the lady about it after.

Another example: I have had a few people come to my support group and ask questions. Great! It's why we're there. One of the most 'popular' questions was, " When we do bring our child home how do we introduce them? Do we say, this is our new adopted son so and so? Do we say, this is our new adopted daughter that also happens to be asian?" 
Well first off, if you're caucasian and your child is a different ethnicity than you, it's pretty evident that your new addition is from a different ethnicity. No need to point it out. If the people who are meeting your new family member know you were adopting, then again, you should have no need to point out that the child is 'your new ADOPTED son/daughter'. These, I fear, are the people looking for that 'saint' label. One of the people who asked me a question like this was definitely looking to adopt specifically for the recognition, by her own admittance.

This should never be the goal when people are looking into adoption. Adoption is for those who wish to build a family. It is not only for those who have infertility issues either. It is for people who love children and want to provide a loving family for a child who may not be having that experience or unable for whatever reason won't be able to have that with their birth family. 

Adoption is just another word for family. So the next time you are with an adoptive family and have to introduce them to someone remember to drop the 'adoptive' part and focus on the family.

God Bless.