This past Saturday my husband and I attended a wonderful workshop on FASD and it's secondary disabilities. The speaker was Dr. Diane Russell. What a wonderful lady and wealth of knowledge she is!
Dr. Russell is a neuropsychologist who specializes in working with people with FASD. I find it amazing every time I attend a workshop on FASD how much I still don't know even though I live with 2 children afflicted with this type of brain damage. This lady talked about the secondary disabilities that seem to come with the FASD diagnosis. What it all boiled down to is that there really are no secondary disabilities with FASD only concurrent ones.
FASD quite often comes with ADHD, OCD, ODD as well as a bunch of others. These are all brain issues. They can all be caused by alcohol consumed during pregnancy. They're all a form of brain damage.
Unfortunately a lot of FASD (and it's concurrent diagnoses) characteristics manifest as behavioural issues. We all like to think if we can curb the behaviours we've got a lock on the disorder. It's not true. It's brain damage. It's not a case of a child/adult with FASD not wanting to change behaviours, but a case of CAN'T change the behaviours. Those parts of the brain are missing or dead.
Knowing how these disorders work is how we learn to parent children with these diagnoses. Understanding that what quite often looks like willfulness is nothing more than the person just not having the ability to modify the behaviours. Parenting children with FASD is a life in repetition. It's like the movie Groundhog Day. Everyday you wake up with your child and know you're going to have to repeat all the same lessons from the day before. Hoping that one day there will be a CLICK and the child will suddenly get it! Then you can move on to the next day. Sorry folks it's just not likely to happen. Children with FASD are not hopeless though. Depending on the severity of the impact on the brain, most of these children are very intelligent, good problem solvers (even when the solution makes absolutely no sense to an onlooker), and very creative. They also have high anxiety. In my 2 sons my oldest is academically very intelligent, but lacks social skills and street smarts. At 7 years old we still have to grab him in parking lots because he'll dart right out into traffic. But ask him to tell you about tornadoes and how they're formed and you'll get a 10 minute lesson in all things tornado's.
My 2 year old is a physical dynamo. He has good problem solving skills, but is verbally delayed at this point. Comprehension is high but responding is less than average. We've had to empty our living room and dining room of all things breakable because he is very adept at moving furniture and climbing to reach what we thought was put out of sight and out of mind. We were wrong. So we adapt to him. Consequences mean nothing to him either.
If you're considering adoption please make sure when you check that box on the application that says you're willing to accept FASD that you go and spend time with a family raising FASD children. You can't fully appreciate what this disorder entails until you've lived it. The books are wonderful but they don't run circles around you....physically or verbally.
Parenting these children is frustrating and rewarding. Extreme sense of humour is a must! But you must be prepared. If you get a chance to attend a workshop with Dr. Russell, or Brenda McCreight, or Kim Barthel, do it! You'll find yourself enjoying the learning experience and you'll probably find yourself thinking that you just might be up to the task.
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