A couple of months ago my oldest son yelled at me, "You're a mean Mom!" He didn't like my response. I jumped up and down, pumping my arms in the air like an athlete who had just won first place in an Olympic event, screaming (yes screaming), " Yay! I did it! Where's my trophy?" My son went into a pout and asked, "Why are you so happy when I just called you a mean mom?" I said, "Because it's always been my goal to be a mean mom, just like my mom was to me." He queried, "Why?" I replied, "Because it means I'm your mom, not your friend and I'm teaching you the ways of the world and not sugar coating things. I'm teaching you that the world doesn't revolve around you and that you have to work for you accomplishments." Again, I got the pout with the arms folded crossly over his chest.
Now some of you may think I'm being harsh because my child has FASD and can't possibly understand the ways of the world or learn to do things for himself at only 8 years old. Well, I disagree. My son (both of them actually) is highly intelligent. He does have some learning disabilities, but that just means repetition, not molly coddling him. He can, and will if I have anything to say about it, learn to be a good citizen of this world. I will do my very best to raise him to be happy (whatever his definition is) in how he chooses to live his life. I will do my very best to teach him how to stand on his own two feet. Does that mean he will be out of my house at 18 years of age, doubtful, but one day he will. And oh yes, I will be there to help when it's needed. That may mean more teaching but it's still help.
So where does this come from today, you may ask. Well it comes from a book my Mum bought me when I told her about being called a mean mom. While strolling through Wal Mart one day soon after that, she came across a book called "Mean Moms Rule" By Denise Schipani. What an inspiring and confirming book. I recommend this book to all moms. This lady talks about how doing the hard stuff now creates good kids later. Whether you're adopting typical kids or children with higher needs, this book has some very good advice even for us. Yes she's talking about having biological children, (although she does mention adoption a couple of times) she talks a lot about the peer pressure we as parents feel from other parents who are following "the societal pack". Times have changed since our grandparents, and parents have raised children, that's true, but our world isn't that much different. Yes we have more cars and they're faster, but the amount of child predators isn't truly anymore it's just more publicized. But I'm off the point. Read this book. It will show you just how you can take your children and raise them to be good and productive citizens.
Have a great day and God bless you all!
