Is there any? This topic has been on my mind for some time now. The inspiration/courage to make this post comes from an online friend who just posted to her blog about it too. So here goes.
We all know that my DH and I are adoptive parents to two of the most beautiful and wonderful boys in the world. We also know that we are not secretive about their special needs either. We work diligently with the professionals that our boys need. We do it with gusto and without shame. We view our boys needs as another way to utilize the gifts God gave them and help them be a force in this world in a way that a "typical" child won't be able to. What we don't do so openly is seek help for ourselves. As parents. That's not to say that we don't seek assistance when we need it, we do; but not necessarily professional help.
There are agencies that provide every form of help for our special needs children. But what there isn't an abundance of is professionals who actually specialize in helping the parents of those children. Most often those parents need someone to talk to who will listen and say, " I get it! I've been where you are. You are not alone. I can help you." That help needs to come in the form of an empathetic ear. A shoulder that is prepared to be good and soggy. A hand that is willing to help a person get back up from the depths of despair from parenting a child with special needs and feeling like a complete failure. There is no such thing as a failure when it comes to parenting the special needs child....unless you do nothing. If you pretend your special needs child is absolutely typical and do nothing but live in denial, then yes, you're probably failing. Sorry. That is the cold hard fact. For those of us/you that do everything that is suggested and that you can think of and nothing seems to work with your child, you need someone you can turn to. You're not alone.
This post is my accountability to those of you who know me and those of you who don't. I'm going back to school. I'm going to get the diploma to go along with the life experience I've had for 35 years. I'm going to do what (to the best of my knowledge) nobody in this community has done, and that is get my counselling diploma first then become professionally available to families of special needs children. I'm going to do whatever I can to offer help and solutions (actual solutions) for those who are heading down that spiraling road of despair. When that means I have to physically assist in some way then I will. The families will know that I'm not just offering platitudes but that I've been (or am) where they are! I will work together with these families to build an actual working together community of support. In this community with a heart, we can!
Stay tuned, I'm jazzed.
Have a great day, and God Bless You!
